Thursday, 12 February 2009

• Confused

    well its my first time on xanga and first time bloggin, so i guess you can say i might have to much to say.

  Well i reached a road in life were for once its paved. The problem is im not quite sure if i like it or just not used to it. My life was never predictable i had a few share of boyfriends and they either cheated on me (3) or left to mexico (2)!  So during thoose stages i became a raging alcoholic and got into business i shouldnt be getting into. i would blank out, drink tequila everyday, being drunk at work and im only 20. that was then though my life was just a cruise. drama came and went last weeks drama forgotten by the next weeks drama. my longest relationship was 6 months sad yea but i must tell you sometimes it was my fault.

  now im with a person who i could see be my life very well its bin my longest relationship now(7) months and were still goin strong. i find my self scared of the end and scared of the forever. i think what if he leaves will i slip into my drinking habits. which now im practically sober! or will i really have to live this life forever! im so use to life being a roller coaster im content with it being that way. i like my life being full of stories and though its bin one tragic love story i finally got what i wanted and not quite sure if im ready for. how will i be if it were to end and were could this turn out to be the greatest tragedy yet.  my boyfriend has no idea what i think about and he really thinks everything if fine. Which really its is then why is that not enough for me. i am good to him as much as i can be  i learned for my mistakes in the past and i dont repeat on him. i want him happy and want whats best for him, but what if one day i aint what best for him? i guess you can say i really confused!

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• Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Xanga... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!"

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• Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Xanga... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!"

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